Grasp. What does it mean to hold someone’s hand? What does it mean to be present and experience the absence of someone? How do I grieve for the loss of my mother? I pursued these questions through my process of grieving through art-making. At the beginning of this project in February 2021, I wrote down what this piece meant to me: 

“I want to depict two hands interacting because I have vivid memories of the specific way my dad always held my mom’s hand on walks. On summer evenings, we would take walks in the local elementary school parking lot. My brother and I would be scurrying around, on our bikes or playing together. However, I remember the assuring presence of my parents as my dad held my mom’s hand and walked around the parking lot as we played. There is a specific tenderness to holding someone’s hand. The physical touch bears the reminder of another person’s presence. So to explore and depict the absence of my mom’s hand no longer in my dad’s is a way for me to transfer and sculpt my grief in a physical form.

Three months later, as I look at my finished piece, it embodies what I intended it to be. I tell my story through this piece, but also the story of my friends, who modeled their grasp for me. Their stories include the loss of one of their parents, too. The process of sculpting this piece allowed me to have many conversations with friends and professors about my art process and why Grasp was important to me. Even though I made this sculpture with a specific intention, this piece asks universal questions for anyone to consider. What is this hand holding? Whose hand is it holding? Why has it slipped away? All the while, the hand is protected by a curved wall and propped up by wing-like structures. There’s a scrality to viewing the hand seemingly frozen in this grasp posture for a prolong period of time. The form demonstrates how we should take moments to pause and allow ourselves to stay in a place of long contemplation, and perhaps, grieve. 

In the past year, we can’t deny that we have all experienced feelings of grief, grappled with the reality of death, and asked where our hope is. Amidst all our troubles, Grasp can also point us to our Heavenly Father’s guiding and protecting hand always with and on us. He holds our hand. He holds our troubles. He holds the world’s joy and sadness. He reaches out and extends comfort to all who need hope and assurance. This piece is a memorialization of my mom and my dad, for this COVID year, and God’s steadfast faithfulness and love for us. I extend the same invitation for you to hold your grief and joy in tandem for they are both gifts from God.